The Exercise Dilemma

How much exercise is enough?  That is my dilemma.  I've worked out 18 of the past 21 days.  That is amazing for me.  Today, I'm feeling yucky.  My throat hurts, I'm tired, I just want to lay down.  But I keep thinking I have to exercise when I get home.  I feel this intense need to exercise and this immense amount of guilt if I take a day off.  My entire day is taken up with this "should I, shouldn't I" argument that keeps playing in my head.  I never thought I would have this kind of problem.  I have to actually talk myself into taking a rest day...LOL  As of right now, I'm going to rest when I get home.  Who knows how many times that will change between now and then...LOL

 

90 Day Challenge Update

I have completed 15 days of my 90 day challenge.  I've worked out 13 of the 15 days.  I can't believe it.  I'm still amazed because this is so different for me. But I have to admit, I'm definitely falling in love with exercising.  Such a weird thing for me to say...LOL  I've even upped the exercise from what they have listed for the day.  For example, day 15 was supposed to be the Pump & Burn 30 minute workout.  That just isn't enough.  I don't feel like I've completely worked out.  So I changed it to the 55 minute workout and I loved every extra minute of it.  Tonight is the Combat 60.  I've never done that one so I'm excited to see if I can hang.  I'm actually looking forward to being a sweaty, exhausted mess.  Life takes some pretty weird turns, huh? 

The Five Year Old and the Dreaded F-Word (and not the one you are thinking)

My baby, Lili, came home on Friday and told me a little girl at school called her the dreaded f-word – “fat”.  My heart broke for my 5 year old daughter.  This is one of my greatest fears come true…that my daughter (or son) will have to go through what I went through as an overweight child/teenager.  The isolation, the loneliness, being “different” from everyone else.

Don’t get me wrong.  I had plenty of friends in school and no one ever really called me fat…unless I was fighting with them and then my response was always “That’s the best you got?”  The fact that I was fat was pretty obvious but no one picked on me or made fun of me.  I didn’t experience any bullying in that regard.  The extra weight I carried served one purpose and that was to isolate me.  It kept the world at a distance and me from being a bigger part of that world.  I didn’t have a single boyfriend in high school.  The only time a boy called my house was to talk to my best friend (who of course was very, very, tiny).  I was never asked out for anything.  No homecoming dances, no movies, etc.   I missed both my junior and senior proms.  While other girls were breaking up and making up with their boyfriends fully entrenched in the drama of young love, I sat home alone.  I felt isolated, lonely and very much like a freak.  A freak that had to pretend it didn’t bother her.  Who had to pretend it didn’t hurt. One who still bears the scars of those lonely years.  Lots of people say that their high school years were the best years of their lives.  Mine were not and I wouldn’t go back for anything. 

I definitely don’t want my children to experience the same loneliness I did.   It’s something I’ve worried about since the day they were born because let’s face it; my kids did not win the genetic lottery when it comes to being obese.  Both my hubby and I have struggled with our weight our whole lives. I don’t want them to have to deal with the obstacles that obesity puts your path.  I want what all parents want:  healthy, happy well-adjusted children. 

This has reinforced the path that I am on and strengthened my resolve.  This journey isn’t just about me.  It’s about my family, my children and the example I’m setting for them.  They don’t have to follow my old path and end up spending their teenage years a lonely freak.  They can follow my new path, the one I’m on now.  I have to keep exercising and making good choices so I can show my children the right way.  Show them it’s not a big deal to stay healthy, that it is fun, enjoyable and doable.  That it is the normal way to live.    

You may be wondering what I said to my daughter after she told me she was called fat.  I hugged her close and told her the truth.  That she is a beautiful, smart, funny, talented girl and that she shouldn’t listen to anyone who says any differently.  That some people are just mean and it’s best to ignore them and concentrate on what you know to be true.  Then I took her to Walmart and we bought a new game for the Wii…Nickelodeon’s Dance 2.  A fun way for her to stay active, move around more and to help her on her own path to a healthy lifestyle. 

234 Freaking Kicks!!

234 freaking kicks in a row!! That is what I did today during my Combat 30 workout routine. 117 kicks on each leg.  And how do I know that?  Because the instructor, Dan, says that at the beginning of the 5 minute segment.  Yes, that was only during 5 minutes of the workout.  I'm not sure if he is trying to scare me off or what...LOL  When you think about it, it sounds insane.  At least to me it does.  But after the workout?  When I'm all sweaty and breathing heavy?  All I can think is "Damn I did it!" and I'm so in awe of myself because this is such a different me.  The old me would have turned the DVD off after the first 5 minutes.  Okay, let's be honest...the old me never would have even turned it on the first place...LOL  

I've worked out 6 straight days during the first week of my 90 day challenge.  I'm so grateful that tomorrow is day 7 and I get to rest...finally.  Especially because my babies are coming back from Arizona and I can spend the time with them instead of exercising.  But never fear, the old me is not coming back.  The new me will be back on Tuesday, Week 2 Day 1, to get right back on track.  

102 lbs gone!!

Today I did something I didn't think was possible. I broke the 100 lb mark. I'm so excited. I have officially lost 102 lbs!! To me this is absolutely amazing and unbelievable. I never though I would get here. It seemed like such a long road. But I'm actually doing it. Making the changes necessary to change my life and to get healthy. Only 67 lbs to go to reach my goal. I can't wait to get there!!

 

90 Day Challenge

I have now completed 2 30-day challenges .  I set up those challenges on Facebook so that I could keep myself accountable.  Yes, I have to actually challenge myself in a public forum to get my butt off the couch.  My brain is a very scary place...LOL But it actually worked and this is probably the longest I have ever continuously worked out in my life!  

I've decided to challenge myself and start a 90 day Les Mills Pump and Les Mills Combat hybrid workout. I found a great schedule online that I'm going to follow. It alternates Pump and Combat with one day off a week.  By the time I'm done, I will have exercised 78 days out of 90.  That will be a huge accomplishment for me.  I'm also curious to see how many inches and pounds I can get off during those 90 days. 

Wish me luck!!  One Fat Chick is on the road to being One Strong Chick!

 

Thank God for Les Mills!

You may be wondering who in the hell is Les Mills? Is One Fat Chick cheating on her hubby? Is he her new guru? Has she joined a cult?  The answer to all of those is No.  Les Mills is a New Zealand athlete who competed in the Olympics decades ago.  And why am I thanking God for him?  Well, because his sons started the Les Mills exercise programs.  These programs, more specifically Pump and Combat, have done the impossible.  They have turned yours truly, a charter member of the I Hate Exercise club into an exercise fanatic.  Yep, I said it.  I love to workout.  I love to get sweaty.  I look forward to it and can't wait to do it.  The same girl who was a certified couch potato now exercises 6-7 days a week.  You read that right.  6-7 times a week. 

Let me explain how I fell in love with these programs.  Before I had surgery, I was going to the gym.  Trying to get myself to like exercising.  A feat I always thought was impossible.  I never did group classes (other than Water Aerobics) because I was embarrassed to be in group classes with all those fit people.  But one day, I put on my big girl panties and decided to try the Les Mills BodyPump class at the gym.  I talked a friend into going with me and attended the class after work.  I was embarrassed exactly as I thought I would be but I forced myself to walk into the room.  I had no idea what I was doing but one of the ladies was nice enough to help out the newbie and get me set up with some equipment.  A bench, a barbell and weight plates are needed for this class.  It is 55 minutes of weightlifting to music.  Squats, lunges, clean and press, chest, shoulders, biceps, triceps, etc.  You name it they work it out.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I was easily twice as big (if not three times) as the rest of the women in the class.  Part of me wanted to leave but I forced myself to stay.  About 50 minutes into the class I had to leave and throw up.  I had never exercised that hard in my life.  The amazing part was that after I threw up, I walked back into the finish the class.  Me!!  Someone who would usually take any excuse not to exercise voluntarily walked back in after working out so hard I vomited!!  Color me surprised...LOL  But you know what?  I had the best time (minus the throwing up of course)!!  It was hard, I was tired and a sweaty mess but I discovered that I loved lifting weights.  It made me feel strong.  

I took the classes for a few weeks after that up until I had surgery.  After surgery, I was tired all the time and couldn't make myself start working out again.  For the first 5 months after surgery, I did nothing.  I also had to cancel my membership because I couldn't afford it anymore.  So there went the one exercise I actually found that I liked.  

One day, I realized that I really had to start exercising.  I am terrified of having all that loose skin and I've heard that working out is the best way to combat that.  I also wanted to show my children by example that exercise is an important and fun part of life.  I decided to focus on what I liked to do.  I don't like to walk.  It's boring and pointless.  I know they say it is the best thing to do but I can't stand it.  If I was going to actually work out and keep doing it, it would have to be something I liked. Since I no longer had a gym membership, I started small by using my Wii Fit.  That was fun and something the kids and I could do together.  But it quickly became not enough.  I found out that Les Mills actually had a program to use at home.  It is called Les Mills Pump and is the home version of the class I loved at the gym.  I had to have it.  It came with all the equipment necessary and 10 DVDs.  I started working out with it as soon as I received.  It was just as fun as I remembered and it made me feel so strong.  

Then Les Mills released a home version of their BodyCombat program as well.  It is a workout that uses moves from multiple martial arts disciplines as well as boxing.  It is fun, a great workout and I get to punch and kick.  What a great stress reliever!!  

It's amazing to me that I've been doing this for 60 days now.  Working out 6-7 days a week and enjoying it. The inches are melting off and I'm getting muscles I didn't even know I had.  Did you know that there are actual muscles on your shoulders?...LOL  My surgeon is thrilled that I'm working out so much and it's definitely showing.  I finally figured out the key to get my butt moving.  It had to be something I really enjoyed and I found it.  So, yes, thank God for Les Mills.  He is the reason I am finally getting into shape, setting a great example for my kids and actually leaving the couch. 

Now what do you enjoy doing?

 

I'm BAAAAAACK!

Well, it's been over a year since I've posted and a lot has changed since then. During 2011 I dropped about 40 some odd pounds and was down to 299. I went up and down a few lbs after that but could not get below 299. No matter what I did including dieting and exercising, I couldn't get past that number. And like every other time I've failed to lose weight, I said "Screw it" and ate whatever I wanted again. It was disheartening and frustrating. By March 2012, I had gained back all of the weight I had lost except for 8 lbs. I was devastated and so very tired of the Weight Loss Roller Coaster I had spent my life riding. The ups and downs. The twists and turns. So over it!! Not to mention, I was getting older and it was getting harder to get the weight off each year. And to top it off, my children were starting to put on weight. I know I shouldn't worry about it yet because they are so young (5 & 7) but I am terrified they will have to go through what I went through as an overweight teenager. The loneliness, feeling like an outsider all the time, being different. It's a hard road and I don't want that for my babies. But how could I tell them how to eat or to get active if I wasn't doing it? I didn't want them to end up being obese like me. Not my babies.

I finally made the decision to pursue weight loss surgery again. And I was on a mission. It wasn't just for my health but for my babies. I wanted to be a good role model for them. I made the appointment to see my doctor in March of 2012 and was taking the 3 month Options class that Kaiser requires by April. I wasn't playing around this time. I knew this was what I wanted and it showed. Instead of being bored in the classes and resenting even having to be there, I was eager for them. I enjoyed them. I wanted to learn what I needed to do to change my behavior. The class prepares you for the surgery. It is taught by nutritionists, nurses, and they even have former patients come in to discuss how the surgery has changed their lives. They discussed the different options, how to prepare for them and the life changes you have to make after surgery. It was an incredibly informative class.

I will admit I wasn't the best student in the class and had only lost 6 lbs by the end. Not very encouraging but I knew I could do this. I decided on the gastric sleeve for a variety of reasons most importantly being that it was less intrusive and if needed I would be able to have my stomach scoped later on in life. That was a huge factor for me. Plus, the idea of having my intestines re-routed in the RNY (gastric bypass) surgery freaked me out. I didn't hesitate after the class and had my surgery a month after it ended on August 16, 2012.

Your life is completely different after surgery. I have to concentrate on eating protein and I can only eat about 3/4 of a cup of food at a time. Seems so small, right? But I'm 7 months out now and it feels like a huge amount of food in my stomach. The pain of being full is a big deterrent for overeating. Overall, I can eat what I want. I tend to avoid pasta, rice and breads just because of the carbs and the fact that I need more protein than normal. 100-110 grams of protein a day. It takes up most of the calories I'm allowed. There are a few things that I can't eat. My stomach just can't handle them anymore. Lettuce is a killer. I found that out at Disneyland. Not the best place to try incorporating new foods back into my diet. Learned that the hard way when I had to spend 2 hours laying down in the hotel while everyone was at Disneyland. But I've found a way around that. I order salads without lettuce. Yes, I get strange looks but it works..LOL I also order sandwiches without the bread.

Overall, I am down 99 lbs. Yep, 1 lb away from a 100. I'm wearing a size 18/20 as compared to being too big to fit in my 28s. I've lost a total of 57 inches off of my body. I feel so much better than I did before. I'm able to do so many more things than I could before. Some of my biggest accomplishments include:

• Being able to ride on the rides at Disneyland with my children. The first time I've been able to do that ever!! I am not ashamed to say I cried on Dumbo...LOL And so did my mom when she saw me. 

• Getting up off the floor unassisted - sounds silly but when you can't do it for years and finally can, trust me the tears of joy start. 

• Riding my bike and finally not feeling like I'm going to fall if I go too slow. 

• Being able to play with my kids physically. To run and walk to the park. To enjoy the time with them.

• Wearing heels again all day at work. I've missed that so much!

• Riding on an airplane for the first time in over 7 years and being able to fit in the seat without an extender for the seat belt. I was so nervous on the way to the airport and the relief when I realized I fit was incredible.

So many more changes have happened since I made the decision to change my life. I know that the common misconception is that having surgery is the easy way out. I felt that way myself which is why it was so hard for me to make the decision to have it. But it's not true. I still have to work hard to lose weight. I have to watch what I eat and work out. Yes, I said work out. The Queen of I hate working out is now a fanatic but more about that in another post..LOL It's not always easy. The pain if I overeat or eat something I can't digest is unbearable. I had to give up all carbonation and some days I'd kill for a Diet Pepsi or a Lime-A-Rita or a freaking class of champagne. But I can't have any of that. The bubbles HURT!!

I've had to find new ways to eat and this journey has definitely had some bumps. I've taken a hard look at my relationship with food. I can't eat when I'm angry or stressed or upset. I've had to learn to grieve for the loss of a loved one in a different way. Can't eat the grief away anymore. It's been a challenge but you know what? Knowing everything I know, I'd make the same decision all over again. I'm (believe it or not) actually happy. And after a lifetime of being obese and depressed it's a nice change.

Here is a before and after picture. The one of the right is December 2009 and the one on the left is December 2012.

 

Time Flies...

We all know that old saying..."Time flies when you're having fun". I guess I've been having lots of fun because I can't believe it has been over a year since I last posted. I was shocked when I saw that. And during that year a lot has happened...not too much with my weight but definitely with life in general.

My son started kindergarten, is in his second year of T-ball, and seems to have the mouth and attitude of a 15-year old. Yep, 6 going on 15. At this rate he will be lucky to make 15...LOL

My daughter is growing by leaps and bounds and will be starting kindergarten this year. She is a little fashionista who is so much more girly than her mother. She is quite the chatterbox with a huge vocabulary. People are usually surprised when they find out she is only 4.

My better half is working two jobs now trying to transition into a field that offers more room for growth. It's been rough on all of us but definitely hardest on him since one of those jobs involves walking miles each day. But he hangs in there with the hope that one day, it will all be worth it.

Me? I'm still a work in a progress. One that seems to stall more often than not but I still strive to move forward. I'm doing the usual balancing act of all working moms - job, kids, husband, home, all while trying to find some time for me. I've gotten a little better at that. Finally put my little Fred Flintstone foot down and demanded that we found some little tiny bit of space for me in our house. (It's amazing how much room two kids and a husband can take over when you let them...LOL) I created a little oasis in my bedroom for me. A space where I can create and just spend a little time doing something I enjoy. In doing this, I've rediscovered my love for creating greeting cards. The papers, the stamps, the colors, the textures, the stickers, brads, eyelets, tools....all of it used to create something beautiful. An expression of me. Needless to say, I took this on with my usual one track mind and I've gotten quite the head start on Christmas cards this year.

Best part of restarting an old hobby, has been that it keeps me busy and out of the refrigerator...well, most of time. Which brings me to the dreaded weight topic. You know the topic I started this blog about two years ago. I haven't made much progress but I haven't gained anything back either. I've been balancing at about a 56 lb weight loss. I've done other diets and exercise plans during the last year trying to move forward. I've done the Dukan diet (worked great until boredom hit), protein drinks, fasting. Each one of these periods are followed by my usual "Nothing is ever going to work" phase where I eat everything in sight. Luckily for me, I've already gotten rid of all my 3X and size 26 clothes so I can't let that phase go on too long or I'll have to go to work naked. A sight no one wants to see...LOL

Exercising has come and gone..and come and gone. I joined a gym. Went for a few months and then stopped again. The Wii and bike riding also went by the wayside. I have such a hard time staying on track with one thing. I have a friend who looks phenomenal! She gets up every morning to attend Boot Camp at 5am. I admire her resolve and can see the results but that doesn't seem to motivate me. I'm not sure what is going to do that again.

I was thinking that maybe blogging again will help. Blogging about everything and not just weight. Maybe it will bring my enthusiasm for this journey back...reinvigorate me. Maybe...I guess we will see.



PS - Please forgive any typos or mistakes. I was typing this while a 4 year old jumped around me like a monkey....grrr. I guess it is time to feeding time at the zoo...LOL

Work in Progress

Hi. I know it's been quite a while. Kinda lost me again. Dealing with depression, a new job, my husband and kids...you know "life". And during that time, I forgot to take care of me. Actually, I didn't forget. I just plain didn't want to. See, that is the thing with depression. It makes me feel like I just don't matter. So, I skip exercising, eat a bunch of crap, and feel more miserable every day. Every single day is a fight...one I keep losing. Losing to the tune of a 10 lb gain. Yep, I gained weight back. Big surprise, huh?...No not really. I tend to do that. Get bored, get depressed, and lose focus on my goals. But the up side is that it's only 10 lbs and not the full 50 I lost. Or God forbid, even more. Been there and done that too.

But, now I'm feeling a little better. Not sure why. Maybe those crazy chemicals in my brain have gotten straightened out for a bit. Maybe I'm feeling more comfortable in my new job. Maybe the stars have aligned just right. Who the heck knows? All I truly know is that I need to take advantage of this feeling while I've got it.

I've changed things a little. Trying to shake up my routine and make this journey exciting again. I've cancelled my WW membership. Yeah, I know, I know. I kept extolling the virtues of WW and I did love it. But I'm not too keen on their new plan and just couldn't seem to wrap my head around it. I've moved on to a new and pretty straight forward plan. I'm going to burn more calories than I eat in a day. Yep, really complicated, huh?...LOL But that is basically what losing weight boils down to, right? I'm using an online site called Lose It (www.loseit.com). It's free (yippee!!) and my cousin-in-law, Jon, has been using it and is doing really well. I mean really, really, really well. Over 50 lbs and counting. Go Jon!!

Back to the website. It's really easy to use and it's sort of like a social network. You can add "friends", make comments, etc. It's great for motivation and support.

I've also changed up the exercising. I just can't seem to keep to a schedule these days. Let's face it, "Mom" always comes last and finding time for myself is really difficult. The more I tried to structure my exercise routine, the more depressed I got each time I missed it and eventually just said "Forget it." So easy to do say. Way too easy for me to say and do. The change I'm making is to exercise when I can using the Wii. Not on a schedule but when I can squeeze it in. And I've added bike riding to my routine. I recently acquired a beautiful black and pink beach cruiser. I just love it and the benefits of bike riding far exceed the physical for me. I take off down the street and I feel all the stress just fall off my shoulders. I feel free and like a kid. Even if just for 10-20 minutes. I forgot how much I loved riding bikes when I was a kid. I did it all the time and that sort of just went away as I got older. Now I'm rediscovering the pleasure of bike riding. And doing it in style on my cruiser. :-)

So, that's the latest and greatest with me. I'm trying still. But as a friend recently reminded me, it is a life change not a quick fix. And I am most definitely just a work in progress.

New Year - Same Old Journey...LOL

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you had a wonderful holiday season. I know I did and the scale can attest since I have gained 2 lbs over the holidays. And I'm okay with it. I admit I had some candy and cookies..okay, I had a lot of candy and cookies. And every single bit was delicious. The holiday season is baking season in my family. All my aunts, my mom and this year even I hit the kitchen. I was able to pass on the family tradition of decorating sugar cookies to my children and even tried out a new recipe for Cracker Candy. To die for!! I can't seem to get through Christmas without having some goodies and quite frankly I don't want to. It's part of our tradition and it's usually items that I only get to have once a year. So, I'm giving myself a pass. It was only 2 lbs which considering the circumstances, isn't that bad.

On to the new year and the continuation of this journey! I'm hoping to lose an additional 100 lbs this year. Yep, that is my goal. It may be lofty but I'm going to try. We are planning a trip to Disneyland the week after Christmas and I'd love to be able to get on all the rides without freaking out or worrying if I'll fit the whole time. I want to be able to really enjoy myself and enjoy the time with my family. Being healthy and in better shape will definitely make that possible.

I'm also going to do the Wharf-to-Wharf in Santa Cruz on July 24th with my Mom and my sister. Another goal I want to meet and something else to strive towards. I'm still trying to convince the hubby to do it with me....maybe....

I've started fresh this week. The holiday munchies are gone and forgotten. I'm back on my WW again and today I restarted (again!) my 3 week challenge on EA Sports Active 2. I'm going to work out 4 days a week again. Yep, I know. "Here she goes again." But as long as I keep restarting and don't give up, I'm on my way to winning the battle. I've finally figured out a way to fit exercise nto my schedule now that I'm working outside the house again. It took forever but it's finally working out. Seems like I lost some of my time management skills while I was unemployed. Really didn't have to worry about time when I had plenty of it..LOL

I'll check back in on Saturday when the scale comes to call! Have a fun week!

50 lbs GONE!!!

Imagine my delight and surprise when I got on the scale and read the number 294! Most people would not be happy with that number but since I started at 344, I'm thrilled! 50 lbs of fat is gone, gone, gone! I'm over the moon excited and feel like everything is coming together for me lately.

I started a new job on Monday after 13 months of unemployment. I really love this job so far and I'm so much happier than I have been since I started working again. The stress is gone which allows me to enjoy my life and my family again.

I'm still working on getting exercise back into my schedule. It's really hard now that I'm working especially since I have to cook dinner, clean the kitchen and get the kids ready for bed by 8pm each night. I want to start getting up early in the morning so I can exercise before work. It's just really hard because I do love my sleep. But I also know that exercising is really important and I need to make time for it. And by making time for exercising, I'm making time for ME!

Here are my goals for the upcoming week:

Get up early and exercise Monday through Thursday
Take it easy on the Christmas cookies and candies
Limit my egg nog intake this year to just Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (I do love egg nog!)

And most importantly, enjoy the holidays and being with my family.

My next weigh-in day is Christmas morning so I may be late with the update. I'm sure you can all forgive me...LOL

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays my friends! Love to you all!

Back In the Saddle

This week I finally had a loss again. 3 lbs gone!! I'm so excited! Looking back at this week, I can see where I did make some improvements in my eating and exercise routine that would account for the weight loss. I also know I wasn't perfect about eating and went over my WW points on quite a few days so the potential to do better is definitely there.

The new WW PointsPlus system is HARD!! Maybe it would be easier if I hadn't been doing their previous system and came into this fresh. Right now, I'm just having a hard time adjusting my thinking on point values for food. I had pretty much a set idea of what I could eat and how much of it but that has all changed. Now, I have to check all point values again and measurements to make sure I'm doing everything right on this program. While it is soooo hard to change, I think this is exactly what my body needed so I can get back in the saddle and continue my journey. I needed to shake it up and boy did I...LOL

Also, my new exercise game, EA Sports Active 2, is super hard. I'm definitely working out harder than I did on the earlier versions. Lots of jumping in this one which is definitely not a favorite of mine. Do you know how much effort it takes to move 296 lbs up in the air?..LOL Trust me, it's a lot! But I am doing it and the results are speaking for themselves with my 3 lbs weight loss.

Now the holidays are approaching and I have to keep this up so I'm ready for them. Good luck to all of you on your journey during this holiday season!

Thanksgiving Landed on My Butt...Literally

Today's weigh-in wasn't a happy moment. I've gained 2 lbs. Pretty annoyed with myself but not all that surprised. I was an eating fool over Thanksgiving and now I'm paying the price.

But I won't let this setback deter me. I'm back on plan and going to stay there! Hopefully, after a full week on the new WW plan and exercising, I'll have a significant weight loss next week. I went grocery shopping yesterday and stocked up on lots of delicious fruits, veggies and healthy snacks so I'm fully armed and ready for battle!!

Recharged

Hi, everyone. You may have noticed that it's been about 4 weeks since my last post. I took a break from everything. Eating healthy, exercising, blogging...all of it. A friend of mine put it best when I explained it to her. She said that I needed to "recharge" and that's how I feel. I was getting bored. Everything felt stagnant and I was ready to quit all together. The plan was to take two weeks off to get my head together. Those two weeks stretched into 4. I was having a hard time finding my enthusiasm for this journey I started. I needed to reassess my goals and my life. To "recharge"

I did and I decided that it is a journey that I just can't afford to cut short. I need to keep going. The amount of weight I lost so far is a huge amount and I don't want to lose the progress I've already made. I figured that I better get back into those good habits now before the Christmas holiday starts. Because I love all those holiday cookies and candies. Ohmigosh, the fudge alone will kill me..LOL

Now the good news is that during my 4 week break, I didn't gain anything. I actually lost a pound!! I think that was just that some of the habits I had learned during my journey stuck with me even when I didn't want them.

Today I started the new WW program call PointsPlus. It's different and is really promoting protein over carbs now. Good point is that fruit is now 0 points. Yippee!! But it will be an adjustment because all of the high fiber items I was eating at 1 point each are now 3 points. But, you know, this may be the best thing for me. It will force me to change the way I eat and shake up my metabolism. And I could really use that! I mean, who couldn't, right?..LOL

I also started the EA Sports Active 2 game for the Wii today. My sister, Shawna, and brother-in-law, Victor, shelled out the $99 to buy me that for my birthday. Isn't that the sweetest thing?!! This version of the game comes with a leg band and an arm band that track your movements which frees your hands up. No more controllers and wires to get in the way. So happy!! You do have to use the controller on just a few of the 70 plus exercises the game offers but I can live with that. It's a huge improvement over the previous version. And to top it off, the arm band contains a heart monitor. You can watch your heart on the TV with the game. You can also workout with people online, join workout groups online, etc. It's a whole new world of exercise and I'm so excited about it.

It seems to me that the new WW plan and the new game came out at just the right time. I needed a change. I needed motivation. I needed something to shake me up and I think they will do it.

Don't you all think a 10 lbs loss for Christmas sounds like a great present from Santa?

Bite Me Halloween!!

I actually forgot to weigh in yesterday. Truly forgot. What does this mean? Am I giving up already? Has this lost some importance in my life? Am I over this journey? Nah, I think it just meant I was busy worrying about being unemployed, money, my son getting in trouble in preschool and all the other normal day to day worries of the average woman.

But back to the weight issue. I gained 2 lbs!! Ugh. So annoyed. And I blame Halloween ergo the title of this post...LOL I love sweets and having candy around the house is definitely proving too tempting to resist. So I have a new deal with myself...no more than two small pieces of chocolate a day until it is gone. That's it. I have to learn to live with having tempting treats around and not eating them all at once.

I've been reminded that it could be water retention. I haven't been good when it comes to drinking my water so I'm getting back on that again.

Boils down to this: I lost the 2 lbs before and I can do it again. It's just a bump in the road on this journey..not the end.

Now let's hope that Hubby eats all the candy quickly!! LOL

My Fashion Angel

If you have ever lost weight, you know the joy of buying new, stylish clothes in a smaller size. The feeling of euphoria that washes over you when you can easily button those smaller jeans. The smile that lights up your face when you try on a dress that isn't an A-line (nothing wrong with the A-line..just tired of it when it is the only cut that looks okay on me!). That sweetest moment when you get to say to the salesperson "May I see this in a smaller size?" Oh, I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

When you lose a lot of weight and go down many, many sizes, you get to have that joy numerous times. Usually that is the part I can't wait for, the part I'm longing for, and the part that makes it all worthwhile. I know, I know. You are all saying "Isn't better health, playing with the kids, and all that stuff you've been spouting off about more important?". Well, yes, to a point..LOL But when you love clothes as much I do, new clothes is what makes my little materialistic heart flutter. Not to mention that you have a great excuse to buy them that even the most frugal of husbands can't argue. Unless, of course, he wants you to walk around naked. But Lady Godiva, I ain't! LOL

Unfortunately, I haven't been as excited about that part during this journey. It's hard to get excited about wearing smaller clothes when you know that you just can't afford to buy new ones. I'll just have to wear the clothes I've held on to that are either really worn already, completely outdated or just not "I'm-smaller-let's-celebrate-new". I've been unemployed for a year on the 13th of this month. It really sucks because we can't afford a lot of things we used to be able to buy when I was working. And new clothes fall way down on the list of necessities. I have kids that need new clothes and they always come first.

But my own little Fashion Angel has shined a little light down on me. A friend of mine, another "fat chick", is on a journey of her own. She has always been smaller than me and is dropping down a size or two ahead of me. She sent me an e-mail and asked if I wanted the clothes she is no longer able to wear. I jumped on that offer because she has always been stylish so I know the clothes will be cute. And while they aren't brand-new with tags, they are new to me! I love me some hand-me-downs. Especially when they are nice, stylish hand-me-downs from my very own Fashion Angel.
I'm so excited!! I have something to look forward to as I drop weight. Another goal to strive towards! And I won't have to worry about what I'm going to wear as I lose weight and just enjoy the journey. Plus, I can put a little money toward things like new undergarments. Let me just say that big panties are so annoying!! LOL

To my Fashion Angel (and you know who you are) thank you so much for sharing this journey with me...and your closet! Mwah!!

1 lb Gone!

I lost a pound this week and I consider myself very lucky. While I've been exercising, my eating choices haven't been that great. The fact that I lost at all shows me (once again) how important exercise is to reaching my goal. I'm going to add jogging in a couple of times a week when I take my kids to the park. I did it yesterday and while it was a pretty short distance, I just have to remind myself that it is one small step towards my goal. Each week, it will get longer and I will get better.

As for the eating portion, I'm working really hard to get back into the groove when it comes to tracking everything I eat...even the "BAD" things.

How is everyone else doing with their eating habits? Are you all able to keep up with tracking everything? I'd love to hear some tips and stories!

The Corn Maze

This last Sunday we took the kids to the Banducci's Family Pumpkin Patch. What a gorgeous place!! They have pumpkins every where, of course, but they also setup great little areas for photos. We were able to get some fantastic photos of the kids and even a few of ourselves. Yep, I was voluntarily in a few pictures. It's getting a little easier each time. And the best part? Well, I could actually see a difference this time. I could see that I was a little smaller. And what a motivator that is!! Check it out for yourself! The pic on the left is from Christmas 2009 when I was at my heaviest, 344 lbs. The pic on the right is from Sunday after losing 45 lbs. I can really see a difference and maybe taking a picture now and then can be helpful!



We took the kids through the corn maze a few times which is a first for me and quite frankly something the "old" me would have avoided like the plague. I didn't try to avoid it this time and was actually looking forward to it. Something fun that we could do as a family! We let the kids take charge and pick which paths to go down. It was a blast and it will definitely be a new family tradition. And guess what? After 30 minutes of walking in the corn maze , I was the only one who wasn't tired or hurting!!! The kids were tired and hubby said his hips were hurting. Me? I was actually okay. I wasn't tired. Nothing hurt. Pretty damn awesome, huh? I sure was smiling in the car on the way home because I felt really good about me and the progress I'm making. I may be getting there slowly but I'm definitely on my way!

Reality Check

I received some news yesterday that helped me put everything into perspective. If you've been reading this blog, then you know I haven't been feeling all that great lately both mentally and physically. I've been in a depression and staying true to this journey has been extremely hard and trying. I have wanted to quit, to give up, to just throw my hands up in the air and hide in my bed. You have no idea how much I've been wanting to do that.

That is until I received an e-mail yesterday that woke me up. The message was from my Uncle Mike aka Uncle Mugsy. He has been battling cancer and recently found out that it is growing again. This news sucks beyond all belief!! I cried and sent him all the love and prayers I could. And then I started thinking about how amazing he has been throughout this fight.

I first need to explain what a huge impact my Uncle Mugsy has had on my life. He and my father were not only cousins but best friends. He was always around during my childhood and he showed me by example how extraordinary a father and a man could be. He showed me that strength can be paired with kindness. He proved without a doubt that his daughters came first before anything!! And they knew it, those lucky girls. His also showered his nieces with all that kindness and love. He gave me my first pair of diamond earrings when I was 9, he always made Shepherd's Pie when I came over (my favorite dish!!), and even though no one in his house drank milk, he always made a run to the store to get some for me if I was coming over. He listened to me ramble on about my new apartment when I was moving 400 miles from home and he told me how proud he was of me the first time we saw my name in the credits of a TV show I worked on. He has always made me feel special and I've always known that he is there for me no matter what.

That same strength is still shining through during his battle with cancer. He hasn't given up! Despite it all, he is still living his life. He travels to see his daughters and grandchildren. He walks his pup, Penny, every day. He traveled with his daughters to Europe earlier this year for the trip of a lifetime. And he fights. Oh how he fights!!

If he can fight against the big, bad "C", then I should be able to find the strength to fight my battle. I need to crawl out from under the covers, pick myself up and remember what my hero does every day...and FIGHT!!

Love you lots and lots and lots, Uncle Mugsy! Thank you for the example you've always set for all of us when it comes to strength of character, strength of heart and the strength to fight every battle that comes our way!!