Saturday, February 5, 2011

Work in Progress

Hi. I know it's been quite a while. Kinda lost me again. Dealing with depression, a new job, my husband and know "life". And during that time, I forgot to take care of me. Actually, I didn't forget. I just plain didn't want to. See, that is the thing with depression. It makes me feel like I just don't matter. So, I skip exercising, eat a bunch of crap, and feel more miserable every day. Every single day is a I keep losing. Losing to the tune of a 10 lb gain. Yep, I gained weight back. Big surprise, huh?...No not really. I tend to do that. Get bored, get depressed, and lose focus on my goals. But the up side is that it's only 10 lbs and not the full 50 I lost. Or God forbid, even more. Been there and done that too.

But, now I'm feeling a little better. Not sure why. Maybe those crazy chemicals in my brain have gotten straightened out for a bit. Maybe I'm feeling more comfortable in my new job. Maybe the stars have aligned just right. Who the heck knows? All I truly know is that I need to take advantage of this feeling while I've got it.

I've changed things a little. Trying to shake up my routine and make this journey exciting again. I've cancelled my WW membership. Yeah, I know, I know. I kept extolling the virtues of WW and I did love it. But I'm not too keen on their new plan and just couldn't seem to wrap my head around it. I've moved on to a new and pretty straight forward plan. I'm going to burn more calories than I eat in a day. Yep, really complicated, huh?...LOL But that is basically what losing weight boils down to, right? I'm using an online site called Lose It ( It's free (yippee!!) and my cousin-in-law, Jon, has been using it and is doing really well. I mean really, really, really well. Over 50 lbs and counting. Go Jon!!

Back to the website. It's really easy to use and it's sort of like a social network. You can add "friends", make comments, etc. It's great for motivation and support.

I've also changed up the exercising. I just can't seem to keep to a schedule these days. Let's face it, "Mom" always comes last and finding time for myself is really difficult. The more I tried to structure my exercise routine, the more depressed I got each time I missed it and eventually just said "Forget it." So easy to do say. Way too easy for me to say and do. The change I'm making is to exercise when I can using the Wii. Not on a schedule but when I can squeeze it in. And I've added bike riding to my routine. I recently acquired a beautiful black and pink beach cruiser. I just love it and the benefits of bike riding far exceed the physical for me. I take off down the street and I feel all the stress just fall off my shoulders. I feel free and like a kid. Even if just for 10-20 minutes. I forgot how much I loved riding bikes when I was a kid. I did it all the time and that sort of just went away as I got older. Now I'm rediscovering the pleasure of bike riding. And doing it in style on my cruiser. :-)

So, that's the latest and greatest with me. I'm trying still. But as a friend recently reminded me, it is a life change not a quick fix. And I am most definitely just a work in progress.



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