The Exercise Dilemma

How much exercise is enough?  That is my dilemma.  I've worked out 18 of the past 21 days.  That is amazing for me.  Today, I'm feeling yucky.  My throat hurts, I'm tired, I just want to lay down.  But I keep thinking I have to exercise when I get home.  I feel this intense need to exercise and this immense amount of guilt if I take a day off.  My entire day is taken up with this "should I, shouldn't I" argument that keeps playing in my head.  I never thought I would have this kind of problem.  I have to actually talk myself into taking a rest day...LOL  As of right now, I'm going to rest when I get home.  Who knows how many times that will change between now and then...LOL

 

90 Day Challenge Update

I have completed 15 days of my 90 day challenge.  I've worked out 13 of the 15 days.  I can't believe it.  I'm still amazed because this is so different for me. But I have to admit, I'm definitely falling in love with exercising.  Such a weird thing for me to say...LOL  I've even upped the exercise from what they have listed for the day.  For example, day 15 was supposed to be the Pump & Burn 30 minute workout.  That just isn't enough.  I don't feel like I've completely worked out.  So I changed it to the 55 minute workout and I loved every extra minute of it.  Tonight is the Combat 60.  I've never done that one so I'm excited to see if I can hang.  I'm actually looking forward to being a sweaty, exhausted mess.  Life takes some pretty weird turns, huh? 

The Five Year Old and the Dreaded F-Word (and not the one you are thinking)

My baby, Lili, came home on Friday and told me a little girl at school called her the dreaded f-word – “fat”.  My heart broke for my 5 year old daughter.  This is one of my greatest fears come true…that my daughter (or son) will have to go through what I went through as an overweight child/teenager.  The isolation, the loneliness, being “different” from everyone else.

Don’t get me wrong.  I had plenty of friends in school and no one ever really called me fat…unless I was fighting with them and then my response was always “That’s the best you got?”  The fact that I was fat was pretty obvious but no one picked on me or made fun of me.  I didn’t experience any bullying in that regard.  The extra weight I carried served one purpose and that was to isolate me.  It kept the world at a distance and me from being a bigger part of that world.  I didn’t have a single boyfriend in high school.  The only time a boy called my house was to talk to my best friend (who of course was very, very, tiny).  I was never asked out for anything.  No homecoming dances, no movies, etc.   I missed both my junior and senior proms.  While other girls were breaking up and making up with their boyfriends fully entrenched in the drama of young love, I sat home alone.  I felt isolated, lonely and very much like a freak.  A freak that had to pretend it didn’t bother her.  Who had to pretend it didn’t hurt. One who still bears the scars of those lonely years.  Lots of people say that their high school years were the best years of their lives.  Mine were not and I wouldn’t go back for anything. 

I definitely don’t want my children to experience the same loneliness I did.   It’s something I’ve worried about since the day they were born because let’s face it; my kids did not win the genetic lottery when it comes to being obese.  Both my hubby and I have struggled with our weight our whole lives. I don’t want them to have to deal with the obstacles that obesity puts your path.  I want what all parents want:  healthy, happy well-adjusted children. 

This has reinforced the path that I am on and strengthened my resolve.  This journey isn’t just about me.  It’s about my family, my children and the example I’m setting for them.  They don’t have to follow my old path and end up spending their teenage years a lonely freak.  They can follow my new path, the one I’m on now.  I have to keep exercising and making good choices so I can show my children the right way.  Show them it’s not a big deal to stay healthy, that it is fun, enjoyable and doable.  That it is the normal way to live.    

You may be wondering what I said to my daughter after she told me she was called fat.  I hugged her close and told her the truth.  That she is a beautiful, smart, funny, talented girl and that she shouldn’t listen to anyone who says any differently.  That some people are just mean and it’s best to ignore them and concentrate on what you know to be true.  Then I took her to Walmart and we bought a new game for the Wii…Nickelodeon’s Dance 2.  A fun way for her to stay active, move around more and to help her on her own path to a healthy lifestyle.