The Big "D"

Discipline...the big "D" in my world.  A friend of mine (who is in fantastic shape) mentioned that it's all about discipline.  That has been going around and around and around my little brain.  I decided to look it up and here is the definition according to Webster.

Discipline - a way of behaving that shows a willingness to obey rules or order

Now see that last part...the part about obeying rules? That's where you lost me.  I hate being told what to do.  Ask my dear husband or my parents.  I hate it more than anything and being the contrary soul that I am, I will do the exact opposite of what I'm told to do.  Have I mentioned I have issues?...LOL  Seriously, I even hate being told what to do by myself.  I want to rebel against everything and prove them all wrong.  I know that eating a salad is better than a burger.  That yogurt is a better choice than ice cream.  That everything is good for you in small amounts.  Etc., etc.  All the healthy eating rules.  I know them.  You don't get to be my size without knowing what you should do.  It's the doing it that is the problem.  I want to do what I want to do and still have it work out.

Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.  I put on a pair of pants this morning and they were way too tight.  Pants that fit me not more than two weeks ago.  I'm up a total of 20 lbs from my lowest weight after surgery.  WTH?!!!  What is wrong with me?  I am my own worst enemy.  This morning was a huge wake up call.  Everything I've fought for and all the progress I've made is going to be lost if I don't get my stuff together.
 
I need discipline.  Ew, just typing that made me shiver.  But I know it's what I need.  It's time to suck it up and admit that the rules are there for a reason.  They make sense even though the little brat inside of me just rebels at the thought of it.  I know that following the rules will get me to my goals.  I still want to lose 75 lbs.  I want to see that scale move down.  I want to fit into smaller clothes.  I want to be healthier and get back to being fit.  I keep trying to do it but trying isn't good enough.  I need to just DO IT!!!  I need the discipline to keep on track, to eat right, to make good choices and to work out daily again.  I used to be able to do this.  I just hate that I HAVE to do it.  Gosh, I am a mess...LOL   

I can't exercise the way I want to because of my back but I CAN DO SOMETHING!!  I can track my food again (which I started today).  I will also start getting up early and working out before work.  Yep, I said it.  It's out there now.  Starting tomorrow, I will get up at 5am and do Piyo, TurboJam, or TurboFire.  I may not be able to go all out but I can still move. 

Let it begin...the discipline starts today!