The Big Splash...Not Really...LOL

Summer is here and so is the heat. Bakersfield is hot, hot, hot!! The best way to cool off is to get in the water. Something I usually try to avoid because of my weight. (I mean, come on, you saw that one coming right? LOL) I’d rather be hot and miserable than let people see how big I am. It’s not like I’m getting in a bikini or a swimsuit at all. I swim in cotton capris and a t-shirt for goodness’ sake. But still the thought of people looking at me freaks me out. Well, I should say it did freak me out. Since I started this blog and put my weight out there for all to see, I’m not as self-conscious about it anymore. I feel so liberated!

A good friend of mine invited a group of moms over with their kids for a little swim party yesterday. It was so great to get together with everyone and to see all the kids playing. Everyone was having so much fun. Robby, my son, was in the pool swimming away in his life vest. Lili, my daughter, wanted to get in the water as well but she needs me in there with her. I knew I was going to have go swimming and I was looking forward to it. I love to swim!

And then the time came to get in the pool. She has a beautiful pool surrounded by rocks on one side but there isn’t a railing to hold onto when you get in. I’m already clumsy naturally but add in an extra 160+ lbs on my frame and I’m a disaster waiting to happen. I debated trying to awkwardly walk into the pool and pray I don’t fall on my ample derriere. Then I thought I could jump into the pool and just get it over with. Problem with that was jumping into a pool is not something a fat person really wants to do. You have the “everybody watching me” problem along with the idea that you may just push all of the water out of the pool when you jump in. Of course that is an exaggeration of immense proportions but its part of the mind games you play with yourself. And top all of that off with the thought of “What if I can’t jump out far enough and bang my head on the side of the pool?”…Really? Come on!! All you have to do is take a big step off. You don’t have to jump 5 feet! Jeesh, my inner fat girl is so annoying!

I pushed all that negativity aside and I did it! I jumped into the pool! I can’t remember the last time I did that. And it was AWESOME! I felt like a kid again. I felt young and happy and free. It made me laugh like a loon. I enjoyed it so much that I did again…LOL Of course, I had to warn everyone who was sitting on the side of the pool that I may make a big splash and apologized ahead of time. (Self-deprecating talk is a habit that is so hard to break but I’m working on it.) By the way, I didn’t even really make a big splash according to my audience.

I proceeded to spend the better part of 3 hours in the pool just swimming, floating, treading water (all with a 35 lb weight on my back named Lili..LOL) I remembered why I loved the water so much and what a water-baby I truly am no matter how much I weigh. It was a wonderful way to spend the day and I plan to do it more often this summer…whether in a pool or a lake. I’m gonna get my swim on again!